It's called "not shopping for underwear"
It’s been some 7,000 years since the birth of the loincloth, which paved the way for undies as we know them today. The Trunk has been an extremely popular guy over the past 30 years, and you’d be a brave man to bet against this trend continuing. It is now adored by sportsmen and fashion enthusiasts alike, proving to be a very versatile underpant. Some famous people agree:
The Brief was made famous in the 1920s as a more supportive option than the loincloth – hard to argue against. Ever since, it has risen in stature and seen many very famous moments from Superbowl victories to being the garment that Frank the Tank removed before streaking. Whatever it does, it does it well – and here are some people that agree:
You’re no stranger to an empty top drawer, so you’ve learned the hard way that not having any clean jocks to wear is a horrible feeling. But hey – you’re an innovator. A dirty pair flipped around the other way will give you all the support, freshness and comfort you crave, right? Absolutely not, nothing turned inside out works well. You need more undies ya filthy bastard.
You watch the black 8 ball sink, and your stomach follows suit. You haven’t put a single ball away, and you know what that means. It’s pants down, and a long, sad, lap of the table. You think you’re humiliated now, but then you remember the state of your briefs – absolutely shameful. Your mates will never let you live this down.
“Tim, are the blue pair with the buttons still your favourite?” says Mum, six years after you have moved out of home. Of course, the blue pair with the buttons are still your favourite, but you’re a grown man! You go out regularly and buy yourself NEW underpants! You haven’t been wearing the same jocks for over six years! (No time like the present to make a few of those statements true).
Just like your toothbrush gives you an obvious sign that it is ready for the bin, so too, do your jocks.
Cotton is a fascinating material. Through stretches, tears, holes and discoloration it can actually communicate to you when it’s ready to go. So when your reds are looking pink, your blues have gone from navy to sky, and your whites…did they really used to be white? So why is it ok to have old underwear, but an old toothbrush is gross?
What’s in a hole? The rest of your unmentionables are in good nick. Apart from the several other holes inching larger and larger with every wear. One day all the holes will combine, turning your well loved tighty whiteys into one spectacular, totally unwearable web of loose strings. Dare we say, a stitch in time…