For such a tiny item, there is actually a lot in men’s underwear that can go wrong. And if you get it wrong, the consequences can be as dire as hitting send on a company-wide email that was supposed to only go to your mates.
Depending on your bedtime wardrobe, they may well be on you 24/7, so it’s completely fair that you get to know your undies better than you know your next tinder date. Here is everything you could ever imagine about the Junkmail undies.
With more materials out there than you could poke a stick at, this was the first thing that had us stumped. Yes, we’ve all grown up with a pair of cotton undies, but is that the best there really is – like technology improves everything right?
Well, there are a number of factors to assess here: Are they super-soft mad-sick comfy (SSMSC) from the moment you open the package until a year down the track when they’ve been sat in, run in, jumped in and washed? Will they breathe in the hot and keep you snug in the cold? Most importantly, do they offer support in all the places you need?
Turns out after assessing all these questions and wearing a million different fabrics (a few we’d never heard of before), our forefathers were onto something – cotton is pretty darn great…that is if you get the right cotton. Only the premium cotton at the right GSM (more about that later) will get your customers to say “Smoothness of microfibre but the thickness of cotton so they’re not like, ‘invisible’ feeling” (cheers Nick W.)
Let us interject and repeat here with some capital letters (because it’s extremely important to know): THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LOW-QUALITY COTTON AND THE PREMIUM QUALITY YOU FIND ON ALL JUNKMAIL UNDIES. If you’ve had a bad experience with cotton, it’s more than likely because you had some of the low-quality stuff.
Side note: All maroon and black undies are made from organic cotton now, and all future colours and designs will be made with this fabric (for a detailed explanation on why we’ve made this move, see here: https://www.junkmail.com.au/blogs/posts/our-new-organic-cotton-mens-undies)
It needs to ride with you every step of the way, whether you’re about to embark upon a 14 hour day at the office, throw some kettle bells around at F45 or play a game of Twister with the housemates.
Just like a goalkeeper in soccer, the elastic band on a pair of men’s undies will never win you the game – it can severely dint your chances though. So the Junkmail undies have gone for a super soft high-quality elastic that will sit flush on your skin and never sag below the pant line.
It’s important to note that we chose a level of tightness so that we’ll always be above the pant-line, but never-ever leave a mark on your waist after a day on you.
Now that you’ve got your fabric and band sorted, it comes to the crutch, I mean crux, of the matter – the body. The Juliet to your Romeo. This is where a pair of men’s underwear is made or broken. It should provide you support, it should keep you warm, it should keep you cool, and ironically – you don’t want to know that it is around ever.
The true sign of a good pair of undies is that you make like Ned Flanders, and feel like you’re wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. Nothing at all. Don’t just hear it from Stupid Flanders though, our customer Keith B. said it (quite) succinctly: “The first I pick to wear after they are washed. So comfortable no riding up or pinching in the crutch. It’s just like you have no undies on at all.”
The first styles we settled on for Junkmail Undies were the two most popular styles among men. And for good reason, they provide the most support and comfort out there, and they look spectacular. Unlike some other brands out there, we want you to be proud of how you look under your pants.
If we don’t have the style you’re after, but you want to join the Junkmail Undies family, shoot us a note at firstname.lastname@example.org. We’re always keen to expand.
The trunks are for the fit man, the cool man, the man who takes pride in his appearance regardless of if he’s sitting on the couch by himself or going to tear it up on the town. This is the style you need if you don’t want to raise eyebrows in the change rooms with the lads, or if your second date goes particularly well.
The Junkmail Trunks don’t just look great, they feel great. They offer you support in the areas you require support, and don’t ride up. And that feeling you get when you first put them on…well we’ve heard people groan at their comfort.
The brief is for the traditionalist. Let’s face it, we’ve all worn a brief before and probably had some good times with them. But since it became uncool to wear them, a lot migrated to the trunk. But let us tell you, the men’s brief is not dead. Actually, let’s hear it from one of our customers James L.: “I’m not usually a briefs guy but these may have converted me…highly recommend every guy gives these a go.”
Junkmail briefs are quite a low-rise brief, which means they sit quite low to ensure they don’t look like a nappy from your childhood. They look like a brief that a proud and grown man wears. They also feel like a brief a man wears. Don’t expect a whole lot of wiggle room up the front, a brief is designed for full support in the tackle areas. And our briefs provide that support. Our final advice, if you’re in between sizes, please order the size up – the waist will still fit perfectly, but the pouch will have the correct amount of support.
Every guy should have basic neutral undies in black, navy, grey, maroon for their everyday wear. The solid block colours should be a staple for every man to wear on a Monday morning when begrudgingly trudging off to the office. Or they need to be fit to take on the town on a Friday night when un-begrudgingly prancing away from the office and to the pub.
We chose a white band, because quite frankly, it looks the best by far. It highlights any tan you may have to make your entire upper body look more tanned, and contrasts the colours beneath the band. All in all, it’s timeless and classic – because we assume you’re a classic guy.
Our logo is placed subtly at the front so that you know they’re an official pair of Junkmail’s, but not so that you’re throwing the brand in everyone’s face. Consider us the Alex Turner who wrote Favourite Worst Nightmare, rather than the AM Alex Turner. Our red tag is an added touch of legitimacy and each comes hand-stitched in, to give you just that extra pop you need.
If you don’t think a pair of undies can win you plaudits, then you need to hear from our customer Sam B: “Fit well, look good and already had compliments.”
We carefully selected the placement of the 3 seams at the front of your undies to ensure there is enough flex for the sausage to stretch and relax all day long. Also, so that there is enough give that it won’t ride up in other areas it shouldn’t be. There are no seams at the back, the 5% elastane in the body ensures that the body will work with you.
We use a flatlock stitching technique so there is absolutely no rubbing on your precious quads, or your other precious parts. This is vital so you continue to be wearing a pair of undies that you won’t notice all day long.
We have a lot more detail about the stitching, but why would we waste our precious brain capacity with telling you, when one of our very observant customers Nick W. has nailed our stitching process: “The stitching at the waist is very robust with three straight lines of stitching and what looks like double overlocking on the inside.”
We’ve used a special contour design to enhance support around the tackle. We also have used two thinner pieces of fabric (one on top of the other) between these seams. This is to look after your special member and give him the softness he deserves – after all, he’s probably more tender than most areas on your body.
We may have bored you by now, so we won’t go into our full testing procedure, but let us assure you it was as rigorous as you’d expect from a scientific experiment. After all, we were going to have to walk around in these undies all day, every day – so we didn’t want to be cranky all the time.
We had the fabric independently tested for initial comfort, and long-term response to wear and tear (tested by Intertek International Testing Service: ABN: 56 001 722 854). And as our customer Daryl F. put it blandly but accurately: “they don’t stretch out of shape after wash.”
As you can probably tell by now, we’re pretty obsessed with these undies. We think you should be too. But just in case you’re not when you receive them, just remember we have a 100% first pair money-back guarantee. If you don’t love them at any time in the first 60 days, send us an email and we’ll shoot the money right back to you. Try us out risk-free at https://www.junkmail.com.au/products/trunks.